Monday, September 17, 2007

A sad day for me

As I was driving to choir tonight, trying to warm up and dealing yet again with awful jaw pain, I suddenly realized that I need to take a break. I really felt like the only thing I could do was go and talk to one of our presidents, turn in my music, and come back home. I'm feeling incredibly sad and I don't know how I will cope without much singing in my life. I also don't know what sort of treatment I'm going to need. But thanks to my voice teacher, I have the name of a trustworthy doctor who completely fixed terrible TMJ problems for a former student of hers, and hallelujah, he even takes my insurance, so I will be calling tomorrow and hoping for an appointment soon. It may mean surgery - I just don't know right now. I do know that I need my life back - not only can I not sing, I can't eat without pain, I can hardly talk, I have headaches all the time, and I'm just miserable. It's really time to put this behind me. I feel God's hand leading me and I take great comfort in that. The thought of not having to deal with this every day anymore makes me feel hopeful.

I'm sure I am going to throw all my energy (well, whatever is left after work and housework and kids) into cards now - that is something that is not affected by jaw pain, thank goodness! I think I'm going to sign up for my first craft fair, which is happening Nov. 17, and that makes me feel hopeful too.

2 comments:

Susan said...

aside from vocal nodes, tmj is one of the scariest things a singer can face. research and treatment has come a long way in recent years, and i hope this doctor you are planning to see is able to help you (certainly sounds promising). as a semi-professional singer, i understand the sadness that comes with "laying out." two years ago, i contracted pertussis and spent many, many months resting and recovering. i was so discouraged and frustrated--i'm not used to cancelling or refusing engagements. but in the end, i became a stronger singer. sometimes rest is a good thing. i wish you good health and a very speedy recovery.

Hysteri-CAL said...

I have TMJ. I had several teeth removed because I used to 'grind' my teeth in my sleep ... and I also got fitted for a gum shield. I've had the shield for about 6 months now, and must say that it has certainly helped the condition.

I hope you get treated quickly and resume your singing ASAP.

Hugs - Cal xx (UK)